Sneaking Back

Wow, no post since February. I lost some gusto and just didn't feel very interesting.  (Now keep in mind that there is a big difference between feeling interesting and acutally being interesting).

What has changed since February? Not much according to the scale. But at least there has been good news in my Spotty Brained world.... James got a new job!  He is completely excelling in a company who respects his opinion, gives him loads of responsibility and will soon be kicking him out of the country for some traveling.  None of which his old company came close to doing. 

With the new job has come "normal" working hours.  Normal working hours = Lillian fending for herself at home.  I'm happy I taught her to use the stove at age 3.  Of course, I am just kidding.  Really, just kidding. Put down the phone, I have proof, she's not home alone. She is, however, now in full time daycare. 

This has been a tough transition for all of us. Lillian is used to staying up kinda late and getting to sleep in.  Well, her 6:30 am wake up calls are not making her (or me!) a happy camper.  It's hard - of course, I want her getting a solid amount of sleep but jamming so much into a couple of hours after work is proving to be really hard and really stressful.  Timing seems to be everything and we are still having a bit of a rough time getting it down.

In terms of weight loss, I haven't been doing much of that. It used to drive me batty in my Weight Watchers Meeting when people would talk about not always being "on plan". I didn't get it. Why were they there? If you follow the plan, you will lose. Why would you not stick to what works?  Yet here I am not sticking to the plan even though I know good and well that it works.  Argh, what's wrong with me?

In hopes of giving a push, my friend and I joined a gym. As part of the welcome package, you get to meet with a personal trainer and they tell you just how out of shape you really are.  And, guess what? I really am out of shape.  Even with the weight that I have lost (between 30-35 lb) at this point, I'm physically in pretty sad shape.

And since I am overly honest on here....I will share with you these numbers and hopefully will get to report back later as to how these numbers have improved.

General snapshot - I am 34 years old.  My metabolic age is 51 years, 2 months. 

Ouch.

Body Fat %: 38.76. Body Composition age: 70 years old!  Not good. (But I imagine of where I was last year at this point)
This is the sucky test where your muscular and lean trainer grabs a big chunk of fat from your arm, stomach and thigh and pinches it into this pincher like contraption.Ugh.

Muscular Strength and Endurance: 5% of age category and like a 70 year old.  I had to do push ups.  NO SURPRISE. I have no and have never had arm strength. 

Exercise Assessment: 30% of age category and 47 years old.  Better, I guess.
For this I just walked on a treadmill for awhile.

Thank God I have some flexibility though to lower my old age:
Flexibilty: 70% of age category...and get this...I'm like an 18 year old!  Hellz ya!
I had to sit down with my legs out straight in front of me and lean forward as much as I could.

So those are my stats.  i definitely need to improve all of them and am excited to do so.  I've already taken a yoga and spin class and need to try out some more stuff.

And since I haven't done this in awhile and I have a new picture of myself - here are my before and during photos:

 So not a huge difference beween September and June - we're talking like 10 lbs at the most.  But definitely an improvement over last year. (side note: I was holding a 1/2 bagel behind my back) 

(Can anyone tell me what photo editing website is good now that picnik is gone?)

My shirt reads "We Like It Dirty"

That can only mean one thing - I did the Dirty Girl run! It was a great afternoon and I will share some pictures and the tale of getting really, really muddy on purpose. 

Weekly Weigh In - Good news/Bad news

This week has been one of those weeks where you can say that nothing all that bad happened but it was filled with annoyances, stresses, and aggravations.  The only thing that got me through the week was knowing that I was taking today (Friday) off.  Well guess who is at work?  Me being here today, however, will hopefully pay off big time. Not pay off in terms of money or respect but pay off with more time.  Time is good.  Money would have been better.

So I will spill the bad news first.  I gained. It wasn't a horrible gain, just 0.6 lbs.  But I do put the blame fully on James.  For dinner on Wednesday, he made homemade beer battered fish and onion rings.  ONION RINGS!!! Sweet crispy, oily, fried goodness dipped in ranch dressing is a major weakness.  You may be asking me, "Well it's not really James' fault.  You didn't have to eat them. And if you did you didn't have to eat so many that you thought your stomach would explode."  And to you, I say, SHUT UP. It was his fault...all his fault.  100%. His fault. Yup.

The good news is that it probably could have been worse. I finally did hit the gym here at work on Monday. I just simply walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes.  On Wednesday, I decided to do 3 minutes walking and 2 minutes running.  And you know what? I surprised myself and did it!  I know 2 minutes is no marathon but it is the baby steps that I need to take so that I can hopefully survive this run/obstacle course I signed up for. 

The scariest part of all this is that I actually want to exercise again.  Like, I am looking forward to going to the gym after work today.  This can only be called a phenomenon, perhaps a full blown miracle if I keep this attitude up. 

Lessons learned: onion rings are soooo good and totally worth .6lbs as long as it doesn't happen every week.

Weekly Weigh In

Wow, I have not done one these in quite some time.  As mentioned before, sticking to a plan that I know works has proved to be challenging for me in recent weeks.  I've become lazy at tracking and therefore lazy at eating well.


To reach my goal of 140lbs, I have to lose 29.2 more pounds and at the rate I am going now, it will take me wayyy longer than I had anticipated  a few short months ago.  I am hoping that by signing up for the Dirty Girl Run, adding exercise to the mix will only help.  I mean if I can lose over 30lbs without exercise, imagine what I can do with it!

The last weigh in I shared with you was back for my Dec. 2nd weigh in.  Let's catch you up:

Dec. 9th        -1.0 lbs (this brought me down to a new decade! 169.8)
Dec. 16th      +1.2 lbs (this brought me back to the old decade. Boo)
Dec 23rd      -1.2 lbs (back to the 160s)
Dec. 30th      The only time I intentionally skipped a weigh in b/c I didn't want to see the scale : (
Jan. 6th         +2.4 lbs (biggest gain since being on WW)
Jan. 13th       -0.8 lbs
Jan 20th        -2 lbs (FINALLY back to the 160s.)
Jan 27th        -0.2 lbs

So a lot of + and - in just a couple of months.  I'm sad that I wasted so much time but there's nothing I can do about it now besides letting it serve as motivation. 

Monday starts my exercise challenge.  What's the challenge?  Actually exercising!  I will report back : )

I'm a Dirty Girl

5 months and 4 days til I get down and dirty as I run, scale walls, and jump in pools of mud.  Or something like that.

I have signed up for the Dirty Girl Run with 30 friends for June 30th.  The event which supports cancer research is designed to be a fun, noncompetitive, challenging and team building course through mud and obstacles.  

As soon as I heard about it, I knew that I wanted to join on.  After all, I've needed something to motivate me to exercise and get back on the weight loss train.  This would be perfect!  Sure, I have no upper body strength so scaling a wall may be a bit of a challenge but why not? Plus I have been having a mental crisis surrounding friendships lately (more on that in an upcoming post) and figured that being a part of such a large, supportive team would do me some good. 

But then I thought back to my journey towards a 5K during the Summer of 2010.  I started off training very strong.  Then I well, quite frankly stopped.   I still went through with the 5K but walked a vast majority of it.  I never really realized just how long 3 miles is until I passed the Mile 1 marker and thought Seriously? That was only 1 mile.  Shit.

So I called dear husband James, my biggest supporter. This was our conversation:

Me: Okay, so you know how I get all excited about something.  I get all into it but then eventually I lose interest and fail miserably?

Him: Yea.

Me: Okay so I want to join this Dirty Girl Mud Run thing.  You run through mud and go through all these obstacles. I've been looking for exercise motivator and it's not until June so I have plenty of time.  What do you think?

Him: Mud wrestling? Cool. I'll be there.

So I was in!  And since I have kept myself so accountable here with my weight loss, I figured I could hold myself accountable via this blog for this exercise crap that I'm gonna have to do so I'm not left gasping for air before I even hit the first obstacle.

The group of girls I am doing this with is comprised of all fitness levels so this makes me feel much better.  If I die, I will not be dying alone.  At least, I better not.  I'll bring someone down with me. 

My plan is to actually utilize the free gym at work.  I can't tell you how long I have bitched about not being able to afford a gym so I just can't work out.  Yea, the free gym at work has been open a couple months already.  Have I gone?  Yes granted it was only to look at the equipment. It's a small gym but at least it can get me going.

I want to start getting up early (this is the part I have difficulty with) and starting my work day early so I can get to the gym and have a work out before coming home at my normal time.  My gym bag has been packed but it has been forgotten the past 2 days so I will start this tomorrow (okay, it will likely be more like Monday).

To find out more information on the event, check out their website: Dirty Girl Run

Looks like fun, right?

Re-Starting Myself

Ok, let's get me back on the blogging horse, shall we?

Hello! 

I have 20 minutes before I have to start to actually "work" again but I figured I would take the few minutes to get my blog rocking again.  I have so much to catch up on and share.

Quick recap on life:

* My little girl is 5! We had an awesome dinosaur themed birthday party that I will dedicate a whole post to because it was so full of  awesomeness.                                                        

*My first class towards my Masters was successful - I got an A!!  I am already in the midst of class #2 - Medical Sociology.

*Weight loss has not been great. The scale has been going up and down.  It's my own fault and I need to re-dedicate myself to Weight Watchers. And I suppose I should exercise here and there too. 

*Finally, bad news, is that James was let go from his job that he held for 10 years.  It is nice to have him around the house at night again but I just wish it was under better circumstances.  I do think this may be a blessing in disguise as I know he deserves (and will get) a better job.  Any prayers you have to send though would be greatly appreciated
.
Ok, that's it for now! I need to catch up with blogs that I haven't been reading!

The Conclusion

I came back to work today after being off for a long 4 day weekend with plans on being off on Thursday and possibly again on Friday and Monday.  It's that week between Christmas and New Years where you are in the office but how much really gets accomplished?  Well, I'll tell you, I've actually done some work but have also been planning the logistics for Lilly's birthday party.  And now I hide out in my "secret" office and decide to blog and hopefully catch up.


So I will finally end my jury duty story. 


Jury Duty - Part 4


The State rested their case at the end of Day 3.  We were told to report to a new jury room the next afternoon.  Arriving the next day, I made may way to the new court room.  It was very similar to the one we were in on Day 1.  Very small and oval shaped.  The jury room was towards the front of the courtroom, right next to the audience seating. 


My fellow jurors and I were finally at a point where small talk was no longer a problem and we began to fully enjoy our interactions with each other.  We were all anxious about just when the case would end and when we would actually be set free.  After all, Monday was Halloween and I did not want to miss my little dinosaur all dressed up.

Thankfully, I heard someone say "Well this is just an inconvenience for us.  We have a guy's life in our hands."  I think many of the jurors were completely focused on the headaches that being chosen had played in their lives and didn't really think about the man who's life we would forever change - for good or bad.


We were finally called into the courtroom where it was obvious that the two cases were separated and we were the only jury and he was the only defendant there.  It was time for the defense to call their witnesses.  To my surprise, they only called one woman who was an eye witness.  She had denied seeing or id'ing the defendant.  It really had no effect on my viewing of the case.


At the time, I was still up in the air on the guilt/innocence of this young man.  The confession certainly felt damning but the witnesses and their stories were so completely laughable that I'm sure the State was banging their heads on the tables when we were not present.


Suddenly, it was time for closing arguments. The State went first followed by a weak close by the defense.  To try to convince me that the defendant was sleep deprived and forced into a confession after being in custody for like 5 hours did not help their case.  The State then got to close again.


The jury instructions came next.  The rules of how we deliberate.  Each count was read with instructions that followed each. It took forever to get through, I can only imagine how dull it would be for the jurors in cases with 20+ counts (I'm looking at you Blago). 


As I sat and tried to pay attention, I could not help but start feeling anxious about what would be happening.  This was a 1st degree murder trial after all and no matter what - these were not good people and frankly that scared the crap out of me.  Would I look at the defendant if we said "guilty"? Would I look at the family members of the person killed if we said "not guilty"?  Who would follow us to my car? To my home?  Admittedly, it sounds a bit melodramatic as I retell this but those thoughts did cross my mind.

At the end of the jury instructions, the judge called my name and the name of the other alternate juror.  We went up to the bench and were thanked for our service.  That was it. 

Throughout this process, I had no idea what the role of the alternate was besides taking the place of a juror if something came up.  I wasn't sure if I would be a part of deliberations or if I would be in a separate room ready to be called in if needed or if I would be sent home.  Well, turns out I was sent home.  Having mentioned my fears above, you would think I would have been relieved but quite honestly, I wasn't. 

I wanted to be a part of deliberations damn it.  I sat through the entire case and took pretty good notes.  I had questions.  I wanted to simply be able to TALK about this case - especially with those who sat through it with me.  But I barely got to say goodbye to my new friends.  We were allowed to quickly go inside the jury room, collect our personal items, and simply said "Good luck."

We were able to leave our phone number with the bailiff with the promise of a phone call once the decision was made.  This was on Thursday, Oct 27th.  I went back to work and could not think of much else but the case.  I was curious to see just how fast they would make their decision. I myself deliberated in the tiny room with bad coffee in my head and came up with my decision.

Personally, I could not get past the video taped confession.  Yes, people have been coerced into confessions before - this one, I believe was a true confession.  I would have found him guilty.

Once Monday and Tuesday past, I could hardly believe that I had still not heard from the court.  Have they been deliberating this whole time? Did they just forget to call me?  So finally, I called the judge's office and was told the outcome - he was found guilty and sentencing was set for after Thanksgiving.

What seemed to be an open and closed case from the start really turned out to be far more complicated than I anticipated.  I do believe the jury made the correct decision and I applaud them on reaching it after what I am sure was serious and thoughtful conversation. 

I must say, despite the bad food and the time spent sitting around and waiting, I would actually be okay serving on a jury once again.  Hopefully, the next time I can be a part of the entire case. 

Thanks again for your patience as I shared this slice of my life. 

The Ups and Downs of Weight Loss

Yes, I still owe my ending to the jury story but I just wanted to do a quick catch up on my Weight Watchers journey.  I mentioned recently that I've fallen off the tracking horse and that I was going to get back on track.  Well I haven't.  And I'm pretty sure tomorrow's weigh in will reflect my recent indiscretions.

The last weigh in I tracked was on November 4th and I was down 1.4lbs.  Here's how things have been for the past month:
November 11th - down 1.8lbs (now over 30lbs lost! Happy Dance!)
November 18th - up 1.2lbs
November 23rd (I weighed in prior to Turkey Day) - down 1.2lbs
December 2nd (back to weighing in on Friday) - down 0.6

So all in all nothing HORRIBLE but definitely not great.  I have lost my motivation and am being careless.  I'm eating almost anything I want and in large quantities.  I know better but I keep indulging. 

It worries me.  I am extremely happy with how things have been going since May.  I actually am taking a double take of myself in some pictures. To be brutally honest, I have my Facebook profile pic set because I thought I looked skinny in it.  Granted, I am holding my adorable niece so I don't look too vain!

But I don't want to stop now. If I'm happy now, imagine how thrilled I will be when I reach my goal. 

For the most part, getting to this point hasn't actually been too hard on me.  Because of the WW system, you really can eat anything so you don't feel depraved.  I was religious about tracking food and points.  It just wasn't hard for me.

I guess I hit my rough patch.  Like in many aspects of my life, motivation eventually wanes.  I need a kick and maybe a weight gain will serve as that purpose.  Maybe getting back to blogging will help as well.  Something has to happen because I don't want to fail at this.