Little Steps, Big Steps

I've lived in the same house for 6.5 years, I've been married to the same man for almost 7 years, and I've had the same kid for 4 years.  I need some changes in my life and besides my house, I'm not willing to part with the other couple of life commitments.  Getting the new job was a great start but has left me wanting more.

Little Step:  As an update to my post below, I did take the first step by calling the  boot camp folks. Since I would be taking the class before work, I asked if there was shower facilities since I knew summer classes were held outdoors.  Nope, no showers.  How could this not be an issue for everyone else doing the early morning boot camp?  But, thankfully, she was very friendly and didn't want me wasting my $20 and extended the deadline to use the deal into the fall/winter.  So I bought myself some time.  Maybe I will start exercising now so boot camp doesn't kick my behind  up and down those bleacher steps. That would probably be a wise decision.  Particularly wise seeing that the only pair of shorts that I own no longer fit.  Whoops.

Big Step:  One of the biggest  and scarier things I am contemplating is going back to school for my Masters.  After getting a really rave review from the COO at work, I am for the first time feeling confident about where my career is headed. I've been researching schools, trying to find something that I can do online.  I found one private university not horribly far from me that just feels right.  They have a Masters program for Health Care Administration entirely online.  Having the online classes is essential for me and the cost is equivalent to any of the class room based programs that I have found.  

I am scared.  I haven't been in school since 2000.  I don't remember how to study or take tests.  I certainly don't know how online programs work.  The internet was only gaining popularity when I entered college.  Email was new.  Everyone chatted on ICQ. I am, for the most part, computer literate, taking a course online (if you do not count the class you take for getting a speeding ticket) however,  is completely foreign to me. 

 I'm jumping in with both feet though but that is not necessarily a good thing.  As I've mentioned before I tend to do just that and then I fizzle.  Going back to school, I just can not fizzle.  I have this picture in my head of me in my cap and gown with my Lillian and James standing besides me proudly.  I want to take that picture. 

If anyone has any advice on working full time and going to school all the while caring for your child(ren) and keeping the ol marriage flames burning, please let me know.  Also, any advice on financial aid would be grand too.

If things go as planned, this fall may be a very busy one.  But I'm ready for a new chapter - a new challenge.   Looking forward to sharing it with you all. 

What Did I Sign Up For?

Well that was stupid.  At least I'm feeling stupid right now, hopefully as I read back on this one day, I will see this as a wonderfully brilliant move.

The scene:

The night was still and quiet.  The girl was in bed and I had just finished the dishes.  On my couch, I sat back with my loyal laptop and perused through a day's worth of missed emails, Facebook posts, and daily deals. Was it being sleepy or just fried from a long day at work that made me click one too many times on the LivingSocial deal promoting a 4 week - 3 day a week - fitness boot camp. Perhaps divine intervention? 

Yes, I was interested.  Yes, it was a great deal.  But no...I say NO...I was not quite ready to take the plunge into exercise hell. I was curious to see what the details were so I kept clicking and clicking and then the deal was done. Whoops. And I am entirely too cheap to waste this $20 and just chicken out....at least for now. 

I have my concerns.  Getting up early is not my cup of coffee. Perhaps because I do not like coffee and caffeine might as well be water to my body.   Last summer when I "trained" for a 5K run, I was all good waking up early before work...and even on the weekends for let's say a good month.  Then I slacked.  I slacked bad.  Baaaddd.   Once the 5K run came by I was surprised that the pregnant lady walking with a stroller didn't pass me by because lord knows, both grandma and grandpa blew by me. 

It all goes back to my first post here when I mentioned being all gung-ho about something but rather quickly lose steam.  But this is only 4 weeks - I could verylikelymaybe do a month of waking up extra early.  Right?

Truth be told.  I am scared.  Like really truly scared about this and I have not even yet gotten my email with the details inside.  I exercise. Occasionally.  I even bought Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred and a pair of weights.  A few months ago.  Yep, you guessed it.  Haven't used yet.  I do love yoga but I feel like doing some moderate yoga in my living room at night has not exactly prepared me for running up and down bleacher stairs  Oh speaking of the bleacher stairs - okay you expect me to run up and down them when I have always had an incredible fear of falling down them.  Every time I have ever WALKED up or down bleachers, I freak out deep down inside.  Running?  That just cannot be safe!!

See....scared.

And so lucky readers, I will share this new adventure with you.  I do not know when I will be able to start since 349 people as of a minute ago has purchased the same deal and there is a class size limit.  I will be sure to keep you all updated.

Although it may not be my choice...would you rather do a boot camp style out side in the summer (early morning hours) or in the winter/spring indoors?


***
Update:  I wrote this a few days ago.  I am now even less enthused about this then before.  I'm supposed to call to schedule my session.  I haven't called.  Will I?

Freeze!

I have a bad tendency to freeze when I am feeling overwhelmed.  I just stop and avoid doing what I should be doing.  Then I am surprised when time has run out and I am in a panic trying to finish what I should have been working on for days.

I have many vices and faults and I know how to deal with most of them.  I need to lose weight, I really have to stop eating so damn much.  Too much time on the computer? Turn the damn thing off. This may not be easily accomplished things for me but at least I know what the solution is.
With this, I just do not know how to break this particular habit of mine. It's deep down inside.  It's part procrastination and part fear that I will not succeed. 

I need to finish a proposal by Wednesday at noon.  This should  not be a big deal but since this proposal is going to a VIP at work, I am second guessing everything I type or think.  So what do I do?  I'm writing here on my blog.  I'm checking Facebook at work (hey, it's their fault for unblocking it).  I am avoiding.  This will bite me in the behind in about 48 hours.

Any helpful hints on getting myself back in line?

An Open Letter

Dear Mom and Dad,

I don't know how you did it with four of us ―the sleepless nights, the constant worry.  Sure, we provided countless hours of love and joy―particularly that last child of yours–―but for so many years, we took, took, took.  After all, that is what children do.  It's what we were supposed to do.  And it is the hope for every parent out there that as your child ages, he or she will look back with admiration and love for all the sacrifice you have given over the years.  But it certainly is a long wait, isn't it?

You two survived the Terrible Twos not once, not twice, not thrice but four whole times.  Even more amazing is that you made  it through adolescence with four hormonal teenage girls sharing one bathroom.  You survived the chicken pox times 4, learning to drive times 4, dating times 4 and weddings times  4.

Somehow you put on a brave face through the tough times...the times that I now realize caused you tremendous worry―the worry I feel now with every fever, with every drop off that doesn’t include me.  That type of worry that digs through my heart with a little spork hitting each nerve throughout my entire body. Especially at my brain where it goes haywire with thoughts that I never want to verbalize.  

You dealt with illnesses―at one point being told (incorrectly) your oldest had cancer.  You put keys in our hands and told us to drive safely. You dropped us off at a college dorm where we were wisely told by Dad, "Don't trust college boys."  You let us grow up. But I now know that deep down, that must have been completely and utterly terrifying. 

I am only on year number 4 - a mere rookie in your eyes.  But now I understand.  I feel what you felt. What you still feel.  And now, just because your babies have babies all their own, it doesn't mean things get easier. You still kiss us goodbye and tell us to drive carefully.  You offer up chicken soup when we call to tell you that we are sick.  You will be driving 1000 miles to see one of us before she leaves for Afghanistan.  There will always be that love living cozily among  the fear.  And to make things even more complicated, you've got yourself 11 grandchildren to add to that worry list.

So Mom and Dad, I send to you so much love, admiration and appreciation. To all the newbie Mothers and Fathers: all your worry and love is normal and will one day be appreciated...you may just have to wait awhile.  To all the veteran Moms and Dads: although the worrying never ends, the eye rolling does cease and understanding finally awakens.  

And the Winner Is....

Just like Kirk Douglas at the Oscars, I'm gonna say a bunch of stuff before announcing the winner.  Granted, you can just scroll ahead and find out but that wouldn't be any fun.


I wanted to thank everyone for following my blog and joining the contest.  I know have 27 followers which makes incredibly excited.  Thanks to all that continue to read once this contest is over.


I hope to have more giveaways in the future.  Just gotta figure out how toget more.

Special thanks to  CSN Stores for the $15 Gift Code Prize!

 Ok, now to why you all are reading this post.  I utilized Random.org to chose the lucky winner.

Congratulations to New-Momma-To-Be Sarah....

Mrs. Lukie said...

I'd love to use it for anything Baby related :)

February 27, 2011 11:04 AM

Sarah, I will email you the information in the address listed with your blog.


Thanks again everyone!