Weekly Way In - My Motivation

Sha-na-na-na, Sha-na-na-na
Hey, Hey, Hey
Goodbye!

25 pounds off and gone.  Hopefully never to be heard from again! 

As promised I did lose weight this week, 0.6 lbs, which proves just how workable the WW program really is.  Bring on the tapas and sangria baby because I'm still losing!

Today's meeting revolved around keeping your motivation.  Right now, my motivation is this strange little feeling called confidence. I don't think I have ever felt quite so good about myself.  I have never felt so secure.

The scale is going down, my clothes are looser, and people who don't even know that I am on WW are beginning to comment on my weight loss.  It feels good to be noticed in this way.

But honestly, I think the weight loss has only been one component to that.  It helps tremendously that I am not in the midst 20something confusion,  I feel focused and appreciated at work, my marriage (as far as I know ;) is as stable and loving as it has ever been.  Looking in the mirror, I am picking out more good things then bad. 

I feel more attractive and comfortable in my skin.  Perhaps my ego got a bit of a boost with what I believe may be workplace crushes that a couple individuals may or may not have for me.  Plus buying a couple new bras that actually fit is making me stand a bit prouder (and higher). 

Why couldn't I feel like this 10 years ago? 

Weekly Weigh In - Catching Up!

I am reclaiming my life!

The Heart Walk is over so I am hoping that I actually am able to get back on track here at work and even at home.  I have put so much energy into making sure the hospital has a successful turnout (both money and people) for Saturday that I have put a lot of work on the back burner.  Home life has been treated poorly, as well, as I have been physically exhausted by the time I get home.

The the Heart Walk. It wasn't that cold out but she looks so darn cute.

The good news on working so much is that I didn't really get much chance to over eat.  Now, don't you guys worry, I certainly made up for it over the weekend.   On my new weigh in day, Thursday, I was down 3.2 lbs for a total weight loss of 24.8 lbs.  Come on 25!!!

After Saturday's walk, I was feeling oh-so-good plus I had an expiring Groupon, I shipped dear sweet Lillian off to her cousins' house and James & I treated ourselves to tapas and sangria.  Yum and yum.

I ate bread. With butter.  A lot of it. 

It was good. Reallll good.

This is what I like about weighing in on Thursday mornings now.  Even though I have to be at work at 7:30am (that's early btw), I don't have to feel like I'm depriving myself on the weekends in fear of gaining weight.  Yes, it's the same points that I am using no matter the weigh in day, but I do think it makes a difference. 

Even though I did fall off plan on Saturday (I didn't even bother tracking and I am just going to assume that I used up all my "extra" points), I am actually still very determined to lose weight this week.  Just you watch!

Weekly Weigh In - I'm a Tired Busy Bee

Wow! This past week has been such a whirlwind.  By the end of the work day, I am completely exhausted.  I already do two full time jobs wrapped up in one and I am also coordinating my entire hospital for the American Heart Association's Heart Walk.  Since that is only a week and a half away, I have been bombarded with that work.  I am incredibly behind with every single aspect of my job right now.  It's bad.    I am taking a quick mental health break just to write this because once I get home from work it's straight to Lillian time and then housework and school work.  And trust me, the housework isn't being done well!

Okay, on to weight loss gain.  Yup I am up 1.4 lbs over last week.  But get this, I'm actually okay with it.  I did not stick to the WW plan and expected a higher than normal scale.  So no beating myself up, only new motivation to get back into the 170s by next week.

I am thinking about switching my WW group here at work.  I have heard that a good leader can make all the difference and I just am not happy with my current leader.  Turns out, I'm not the only one so at least it isn't just me.  The downfall is the other session is on Thursdays at 7:30am.  Do you know how much I loathe getting up early?   It's the main reason why exercise hasn't been on my radar in the last little while. I  just can't do the early wake up thing since I have been staying up later and later at night.  But once a week I should be able to do it. 

Weekly Weigh In - Putting Myself Out There

So this is the post where I put it all out there.  My pictures, my weight, all the gory dark little secrets that I so normally keep ever so guarded. 

I started way back in May and some parts of me feels like I should have lost more weight but I do know that slow and steady does win the weight loss weight.

So here I be...on my first day or WW and then today.  Down 23 lbs (Oh that's right, I lost only 0.4lbs this weigh in week so I'm at an even 23 lbs lost).

Different clothes, different zoom but you get the idea.  I don't see a huge difference but maybe a small one.

I weighed in on Day 1 at 202.4 lbs.  Not good, especially for a 5'4 frame.  It was definitely my highest weight outside of pregnancy.  Today, or at least Sunday when I weighed in, I was 179.4.  Being in the 170s felt pretty good. 

I haven't had a great week so hopefully I won't gain come this next Monday. 

So there you have it.  Me in the raw!

I want to thank you all for your wonderful support.  It really keeps me motivated which is exactly what I need in this journey!

Mom vs Mom

I admit to be slightly annoyed at cutesy articles like Questions from SAHM.  It's one of those irrational splinters in the mind that are so deeply ingrained that you can't even pick it out with a tweezer.  It's like my hatred of mushrooms.  I just don't like it - no matter what you say or how you try to disguise it.

Because to me, articles like this just fuel the flame that is the always burning debate of Stay At Home Mom/Dad (SAHM) vs the Working Mom/Dad.  There is serious tensions that live on blog sites and message boards and I'm sure many neighborhood school drop offs between the two forms of parents.

Sadly, like in so many instances in a woman's life - it just feels like we are bringing each other down. 

Things like the list, even though likely only written in pure good intentions,   make my defensive rise.  I want to say , "Oh yea. Well I get to deal with office politics, rude customers, deadlines, long commutes, and meetings about meetings all day (with no hugs and kisses, by the way) and THEN I get to go home and deal with everything you mentioned on your list."  But I try not to say that on a message board or on Facebook because I think I end up looking like a big ol b-i-t-c-h.  

The thing is, I know that my annoyance is rooted in jealousy and guilt. I feel like I have to prove something and I hate that feeling.  I've lived 33 years caring too much about what others think of me and I think its prime time to maybe grow up a little.

I do what I have to do. My family does what it has to do.  We make it work, we survive. And isn't that what everyone is trying to do? 

Parenting is hard whether you stay at home and your day is filled with house work, cooking, and trying to entertain and educate your kidlets (most weekends I have a hard enough time accomplishing this let alone on a daily venture) or working outside the house and trying to juggle work and home life responsibilities.  It's just plain hard.

I hope no one takes this as a slam on SAHM/Ds - afterall James is one himself.  In fact, he can pretty much say "SHUT UP" to us all since he is both a full time stay-at-home Dad and a full time work outside of the home dad.  Now, he's got it hard.  Him? I will allow him to write a list.