My First Awesome Giveaway!

I feel so lucky to have been chosen to host this $15 Gift Code Giveaway for CSN Stores!  CSN is an online, one stop, superstore for anything from home office furniture to baby gear to cook ware  and lots more.  

I am going to make this super easy to enter since this is my very first contest.  All I need is for you to click on the "Follow" button under the "They Like Me, They Really Like Me" headline. Even if you don't really like me, you should still click there for your chance to win.  If you don't have an account - you can create a new one.  I promise, no spamming!  ------->

Then just post a comment on what's next on your shopping list that CSN Stores can help you find.   (Make sure to leave an email or link to your page so I can contact you if you are the winner).

And now the fine print....

CSN only ships to the US and Canada.

Canadian friends: There may be international shipping taxes to Canada that the gift code cannot cover. 

Deadline for the contest is 11:59pm CST on Tuesday, March 1st ! 
I was not compensated for this promotion. I was only given the gift code for the purpose of giving it away to one of my lovely, lucky readers!

Spots Like Me

When I saw the video of on-air reporter, Serene Branson, attempting to speak during a segment leading into the Grammy Awards, I saw something that struck very close to home. That "gibberish" that came out of her mouth made me flashback to the day when I began speaking that way—the day I thought I was having a stroke.


My blog name, Spots On The Brain, comes from my very own spots on the brain that were discovered in an MRI almost four years ago. Lillian was just three months old at the time and I had just returned to work after my maternity leave. On the way home one day, I stopped at Petsmart to buy some kitty litter. As I walked through the aisle, my left foot became numb. I tried stomping at it—thinking it had to be asleep—but a rush of panic swept inside me. Where was the pins-and-needles feeling?

I picked up the litter and began walking to the check out. The numbness left my foot but was now traveling up my leg. Suddenly it felt like a bowling ball hand landed in my stomach. What was going? As the numbness started to travel up, my brain started screaming, "What if the numbness reaches my lungs and I stop breathing??" Maybe not the most rational thought in the world, but I was just focused on being able to swipe my debit card without keeling over with all those birds and snakes watching me, not knowing what was wrong.

I didn't want to burden anyone in the store so I did the logical thing by leaving. I managed to walk to my car and call James. He told me to come home. Luckily the numbness hadn't quite reached my driving foot—at this time it was more my mouth and tongue. I managed to get myself home without crashing the car.

I get home and soon my words became gibberish. I had very coherent thoughts in my head but was unable to vocalize them. It was a feeling of complete fear. James would say, "What's your daughter's name?" and I couldn't say it. I wanted to and desperately tried to, but could not even say the name of my little baby.

During the next month or so, I had similar episodes that followed a pattern of traveling numbness, incoherent speech, nausea and vomiting, and an intense, stabbing headache. I underwent a CT scan and MRI that resulted in a misdiagnosis of MS (lesions or spots as I call them are found in MS brain scans but also people who suffer from migraines). Luckily, that was a very short lived diagnosis and it became clear that I suffered from what was indeed migraines with neurological auras. I've had migraines before but never had I experienced an aura and debilitating headaches like the ones I had while trying to figure all this out.

Seeing that video, I had to wonder if Ms. Branson has also had a migraine after doctors did not seemed concerned about a stroke.
Sadly, many accused this reporter as simply being a blond, of flubbing her lines and trying to cover, of being drunk, and countless other ridiculous theories. But for anyone who has suffered through a migraine knows how serious this condition is. Those of us who are in the unlucky minority of having auras (a distinctive sensation or visual disturbance that may signal the beginning of a migraine headache) know how scary they are and how scary it is to lose control.

"A migraine is not just a headache. It's a complicated brain event," said UCLA neurologist Dr. Andrew Charles, who examined Branson.

And as my sister said, "I bet she has spots on the brain too!"

A special thanks to Tracy Banks who is starting to help me edit some of my posts.  I tend to post with doing only spell check so I appreciate her assistance on this and many to come posts. If you like to write but hate to edit like me, Tracy can help you as well!

Fashion Challenge

I recently read a post on a new and fantastic blog called Singles and Pairs that raised some eye brows concerning women's choices for fashion today.  The author, Vanessa, thought that women should start putting more of an effort in their appearances and should really skip the sweat pants and Uggs when they are out and about.

I won't get into the whole debate but as a result, I challenged Vanessa to a day where she would go out in sweats and not wear any makeup.  Since I happily dress down and sans make up on most weekends, I said that I would make it a point to dress up and report back.

Vanessa was a great sport and she reported on his experience and I reported on my part of the challenge.  I got a bit wordy so many apologizes for the length.

Lunch Time!

After the great Chicago blizzard of 2011, people around here are busting out their pedicures and flip flops today at the first sign of spring...near 60 degree weather. I was determined to actually get outside to enjoy the relative warmth...while it lasts.

The problem here at my new job is two-fold.  1. I have no friends and 2. There isn't much opportunity to say, take a walk down the block and find a good restaurant for lunch.  As much as I grew to despise my old job, I did have two things there: Friends and my choice of a plethora of good restaurants within walking distance. 

I end up just eating at my desk or not eating at all. I may work through or do some web surfing or writing here on the blog.  I really need to stop this bad habit.  At the very least I should leave my desk to eat and read a book. 

Today I decided that I would get out of here and try to enjoy the weather.  Truth be told, the calling of a spring time ritual, the McDonald's Shamrock Shake drew me out as much as the weather did.  I didn't have much time but I did it.  Sadly, the sun wasn't shining but my light jacket did the job in keeping me comfortable.  I drove to McD's got a cheeseburger and a shake. 

The cheeseburger had ketchup oozing from it and was overall, disappointing.  The shake though, did its job in satisfying my craving.  Interestingly enough, my shake was not all green. The green was layered in with white.  I had never noticed this pattern before.  Still tasted minty so I was all good.

I drove back to work, parked on the roof of the garage, opened the window and actually read my book for a whole 15 minutes before I had to head back in.

What's your lunch routine?  Do you have trouble taking some time out or are you all about getting your well deserved break?

A Lazy Valentine

I am a lazy Valentine this year.  

I'm not a Valentine hater, I actually like this holiday.  And although people proclaim it a Hallmark holiday, it really is not.  Although Hallmark certainly had its hand in commercializing to the extreme, V-Day has been around longer than the greeting card or flower company.

In my household, we don't go all out for the red hearts and candle lit dinner - James blames my birthday being so close but I call hogwash on that. However, I normally like to make the day at least a little special.  Not so much this year.

Last week, thankfully, Lillian and I found ourselves in a Walgreens and I got a couple of things done early.  Take that procrastination!  She picked out cards for her school friends and a couple of items for Daddy.  Other than that, there was squat. 

I had no energy...better yet desire...to do anything extra for her preschool party.  Those kids got a Cars Valentine, written out by moi on Sunday night after Lillian went to bed. No candy. No pencil. No stickers.   Teachers didn't even get a little chocolate.

I am very zen about the day.  Maybe its been a bad track record of friends losing those that meant the world to them recently but today, I am just reflecting on the love and blessings that surround me everyday.

My 2 favorite Valentine's:

Happy Valentine's Day to All and to All A Good Night!

Dear Lillian

Dear Lillian,

As if we did not have enough in our arsenal to embarrass you from freshman year in high school to college graduation.  I mean saying "Daddy I pooped.....it looks like a dolphin!"  and the time you colored your face and feet with red marker saying "Mommy, I look like a clown!"  or running around the house with your pants around your ankles was quite enough.  You certainly did not have to make things even easier by taking your toddler sized mechanisms of chaos and chopping off your beautiful hair.

Your Daddy called me at work and told me what you did.  I wasn't too concerned, after all your cousin once did a bang up job on her bangs.  It was only until Daddy sent me pictures on my phone before the panic set in.

I called "Please tell me its not as bad as it looks."

"It's as bad as it looks"

This was around 3pm.  Do you think I got any work done the rest of the day? 

My mind was completely occupied by sending pictures to my sisters and fellow preschool mom.  I had to call my parents.  And post on my parent based message board. And tell some of the people I work with.  Yes, I love my job but some things just beat the old 9-5.  

Daddy said you seemed very sad and were mopping around the rest of the day.  That makes me feel sad myself but I am hoping this will teach you something.....Blackmail exists my dear.  

Love,

Mommy

This is my beautiful daughter before her handy haircut.  I actually only recently had it cut into this cute little bob.  Before it was much longer.

This is my beautiful daughter after her Edward Scissorhand imitation.

She had a short lived mullet and now looks more like this.

But that's okay.  It is just hair.  It will grow back.  And somehow the short do is growing on me.

Another Year Older

It's weird being 33. 

People call me an adult.  This guy I live with calls me his wife.  A little girl with a machine gun laugh calls me Mommy. 

When did this all happen?  When did I stop knowing who half the people on the red carpet are?  When did I notice the first fine line beneath my eye?  When did I get the overwhelming desire to tackle every high school boy with their stupid blown forward Justin Bieber looking hair do and shave them bald? When did I stop getting carded? When did the first grey pop out of my dark hair - just screaming to me "HAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE OLD".  Actually I was 23 when I discovered my first grey hair - you but still the beginning of the long draining spin cycle of aging. 

Unfortunately, not many people got the memo about my birthday.  I still went to work and no one even pulled over to get out of my way.  I sat in my office and nobody delivered me a delicious lunch.  Nobody took my picture as I drudged through a snowy sidewalk to my house.  I really need to hire a better publicist for next year.

At least the husband and the daughter got the word.  A yummy dinner and a 4 year old serenading me with "Happy Birthday" with my favorite - an ice cream cake.  

(note: This is not my actual birthday cake.  James does know better)

Here's to being 33! Cheers!

I'm #2! I'm #2!

For a very long time, I was jealous of those people who enjoyed their jobs.  Those people who didn't mind so much walking into their workplace.  Those people who didn't lay in bed every morning with a sinking feeling of dread mixed in with a sprinkling of complete defeat. 

For a very long time, I felt like I was running a race where the finish line was up head yet that too kept on moving further and further away from me.  It was the scene out of Poltergeist  where the mother kept trying to run down the hallway to get to her children but she just couldn't reach the door. 

In today's world, I always find it necessary to preface any job hunting story of woe with the acknowledgement that I was 100% grateful to have the benefit of looking for a new job while actually having a job.  I was not out-of-work like so many people were and like so many people still are.  That in itself should stop me from complaining but the reality of it is, I was job hunting for 3 years and it walloped my self esteem into the garbage.  There was a 1-2 combo of being punched in the face by my employer and then walloped in the stomach by the job search.

I received one job offer that I had to turn down because it would have been a drastic pay cut.  A $10 pay cut would have been too much let alone a $5000 one.  Besides that there was a whole lot of resume sending, interviewing, 2nd interviews, and even 3rd interviews but for whatever reason, I was never that final candidate.  I wasn't even the final candidate for the job that I am currently at!  I still pass by a couple of places that I thought I had the job in the bag and I flip them off in anger for stringing me along and then stumping on my hands.

Then it happened.  I passed the phone interview.  I passed the 2nd phone interview.  I met with managers and supervisors in person.  For this job, it was a dual role - one role I had lots of experience, the other part, not so much.  I received a lovely email from HR saying that although they enjoyed meeting with me, they decided to go with someone more qualified.  Same ol story.  But this time, I did something different.  I did a bit of follow up.  I wanted to know what the hell I was doing wrong.  I emailed HR and the 2 people who interviewed me.  Thanking them for their time, I just asked for any feedback so I could go forward and improve myself for future job interviews.  I received lovely messages back saying that it was only that I lacked experience in that one part of the role.  I respected that. I understood.  I was able to put closure to this job prospect.

Weeks go by and I received a phone call.  Call it destiny, fate, luck or just life but it was said company offering me the job.  The other person didn't work out so I got the "Come on Down".  Was I put off?  Upset that they only called me when the other person let them down?  Nope!  Remember: Ego. Garbage. Me.  I had never been so happy to be second choice.

Now, 5 months later, I am where I am supposed to be.  That other job role where I didn't have the experience? Yea, that continues to be a thorn in my side.  I understand why I wasn't first choice now.  But in all other aspects I have fallen into place with complete comfort and understanding.

I have been working with the COO of the hospital on a project and my previously stomped upon ego has been completely reinflated by her.  She is introducing me to important people, including me in director level meetings, and has told me that I have a bright future here.  Last week she wanted to introduce me to someone from another organization but then was scared (jokingly so) that this other person would try to steal me away and there was no way she would let that happen.

I am like a giddy teenager who just had the cute boy come to my locker and talk to me.  I have not felt this way about a job in my life.  I have confidence in myself and the future.  I am working so hard to live up to my COO's expectations because I will make something out of myself here.  And quite frankly, I want to do it fast.  I'm ready for my promotion. 

Snow Day

Days like today, I really wish we had a garage.

As Lillian watches her Tom & Jerry for the 1st time today (let's see how many times she gets us to put it one again), I wonder when I will get out of my warm pajamas and head out to the winter wonderland called my front yard. 

Days like this I wish I had my own snowsuit.

So yes, this is the Blizzard of 2011.  I have not yet seen the "I Survived the Chicago Blizzard of 2011" Facebook page but I know it is just a matter of time.  Chicago has seen a few nasty snow storms in its history: 1967 (not born), 1979 (too young too remember) and 1999 (????).  Why the hell don't I have any recollection of the '99 blizzard?  I was old enough, I was in college but I know I didn't drink the memories away.  This is slightly upsetting.  Although I make fun of my spotty brain, it is slightly worrisome that I can't recall the second worse blizzard in Chicago history .  Maybe I was drunk.

Today, on my snow day, I will clean up around the house, attempt to shovel the sidewalk, throw Lillian into the snow and take pictures, climb back into my PJs and snuggle in a down comforter for the rest of the day. 

Oh and Comcast is supposed to come here between 2-7pm.  Think they will make it?