Weekly Weigh In - Did I Make 10%?

So this was it, the week to reach  my first mini goal of 10% weight loss.  It should not have been hard to do.  I think I had to lose like 0.6lb to reach it.

Since I'm obsessed with weighing in at home, today was no different and I was rather taken aback and sadden to see that I had gained weight.  That immediately started my day off bad with negative self disliking thoughts that went through my head.

I came down and told James that I was probably going to skip weighing in today.  Maybe if I didn't eat much today and maybe got in some exercise that I could drop at least a pound so it wouldn't be so bad.

Since I am  at home today for Lillian's first day of preschool (round 2 since she has a late bday), I was being a bit lazy around the house and doing a lot of thinking.  It went something like this:

Well, I didn't track quite as closely this week as I normally do.  I definitely didn't drink as much water.  I was really stressed about life in general.  How am I going to balance work, Lillian, house, school and weight loss and still keep my sanity?  Pizza - naughty naughty pizza.

And then I started to think about my lil blog here.  I started to think that a few people (HI MOM!) do read this and I really wanted to be honest with myself and you.  Everyone who has ever struggled to lose weight knows that there will always be ups and downs on that scale.  

I want to be honest because who hasn't faced these inner conflicts? Sure I can lie and say I stepped of the scale and said "Tomorrow is another day!" but I didn't.  I felt cruddy and daydreamed about how easy it would be to just give up.  How nice it would have been to have popcorn with butter at the Smurfs movie yesterday.  Why do I bother? Maybe I'm just meant to be this size after all.

Funny thing is though, the more I thought about writing here, the more I wanted to NOT give up.  I wanted to show how even though challenges arise, I may still have my down moments but the important part is how you turn it all around.

So after dropping Lillian off at preschool (round 2), I drove to the drop by Weight Watchers location in town.  I stepped on the scale ready to list off my excuses. 

I lost 3lbs.

Ok, I still don't fully believe it.  My home scale has never been that off before.  I question whether I really did lose the weight but instead of beating myself up, I need to take this pleasant surprise and accept it and for at least one week, put away my home scale (I promised James).

I made it to my 10% and my next mini goal with be 20% then I'm going all the way to home plate with my goal weight.  I'm hoping to post later this week laying it all out there including my actual weight and "before" picture. 

Thanks for traveling with me on this road and keeping me accountable.

5 Things I Don't Like

I hope not to offend anyone by my dislikes but if I do, feel free to make your own blog and put me or this site as your #1 Thing You Don't Like.  It's okay. I won't be offended.  I won't cry.

Much.

I'm sensitive you know.

These car decals are probably near the top of my "Things I Don't Like" list.  They annoy me.  Why? They just do <sheesh>

Mushrooms are #1 on my food hit list.  They are disgusting and I actually do lose a bit of respect for anyone who enjoys them.  That does include James and Lillian.

Sure, I like the look of heels but I hate wearing them.  Now that heels are pretty much a fashion must-have, I feel like less of a woman because I refuse to wear them often.  Will flats get trendy again?

I do not like you. I do not like you.  You are only popular because you are weird. There's nothing wrong with being weird but we all know its a big fat act that has made you mega rich.  Oh, and stop ripping off other artists. 

This is one I wish I did like.  At least in my past life when I actually went out to bars and clubs.  What's cheaper and easier to carry then a bottle of beer?  I hate having expensive tastes. 

Do you have a list? Blog about it or post it!

2 + 3 = 9 (And Weekly Weigh In)

One of my biggest weaknesses is my lack of smarts when it comes to math.  Maybe not quite so bad as the title of this post may suggest but I'm pretty bad.  The calculator and I are friends. 

I've been going on and on about almost reaching my 20% of weight loss. But I'm a little bit off.  I'm actually only nearing my 10% loss.  Not sure how I got 20% stuck in my head.  The 10% is still good - a bit less exciting now - but still a nice goal to reach in the Weight Watcher universe.  A goal that I should hit next week indeed after a 1.6 lb loss today. 

Besides Weekly Weigh In Monday, I also started my first grad school class today.  My program in Health Management will be entirely online which is making me a bit nervous.  I logged in today and "met" the professor who seems like quite a good guy.  This week,he is letting us off pretty easy with the only requirement being to post about yourself and then try to get know other people.  The rest of the syllabus looks a bit challenging but what else should I expect.

Add to this my craziness of my brain and my planning of Lillian's 5th birthday party.  Lillian's birthday is December 29th.  Her party won't be until January. It is August.   Sad thing is I will plan all these details now and then once Oct/Nov/Dec arrives, I will procrastinate and nothing will get done til the last minute.  Tis my life.

Maybe this year will be different.

The themes on the table so far are: Dinosaurs or Pinkalicious.   My vote?  Pinkalicious of course!  It's a story about a girl who eats too many pink cupcakes and turns pink.  The decorating choices are just endless!

Stayed tuned!

Swing High My Child

Am I the only parent who loves to grab the swing next to my child and soar like I was 8 years old?

There is just something so freeing and lovely and calming about pumping my legs and reaching for the sky.  It's the best way to quickly transport me to the laughter and ease that is childhood. 

I spent countless hours on the playgrounds surrounding my house. What else did a child of the 80s do after all?  1. ride your bike and 2. go to the park and 3. Play Atari

My grade school park was my favorite.  It was the now "old fashion" equipment that was made of wood and surrounded by sand.  There were four tire swings where four kids could fit on one.  One person would stand and pump the tire so high and it was twice as fun if you could bump the swing next to  you.  The tire was hung by chains and we would twist and twist and then let go to fall into a wonderful dizziness.


Now I swing beside my daughter and just take off, closing my eyes and enjoying the sweet summer breeze and reflecting on life.

That is until Lillian starts swinging just as high as me and I panic and imagine seeing her fly through the air and landing face first in the wood chips. 

Where was I? Oh yes, being care-free. 

Being a worry less child (something which every child should be but sadly, is not) is a blessing that one does not recognize until fears, anxieties and stresses practically take over every other thought.  You earn that badge of adulthood with your first bill, your first heart break, your first bounced check.  And if you chose to continue on to receive the Parenthood Badge, well then you worry so that they don't.

So if you haven't, no matter your age, find a swing and take yourself on a ride...in your head and heart.  I'm serious about this...go.  It's perfect weather.  Report back!

Weekly Weigh In Week 13 - Easy Peasy

This weekend my Mother-In-Law asked me how things were going with my weight loss.  I told her it was going great and how easy it was.  Easy.

I honestly am not sure why that particular word escaped my mouth.  Maybe my good mood of being at Lillian's ballet class watching her perform for the first time got the best of me.  Although I do love the Weight Watchers program, I would not normally classify it as easy. With any diet lifestyle change - it's going to take some work. 

It takes work to resist the "Throw in the towel and enjoy hot fudge sundaes because you are beautiful just the way you are"...which is partially true seeing that I am quite the looker.  But there are moments - plenty of them, that I wish I didn't have to track every single thing I eat.  I wish I didn't have to go to a meeting once a week to keep me accountable.  I wish I could eat this giant turtle fudge cookie that I haven't touched since beginning WW.  Yes, I could eat it - after all I really can eat anything - but I haven't been able to bring myself to indulge in that particular treat.  I have no idea how many points the Dreamy Cookie (I just made up that name) has - can't find any nutritional info on the company's website.  That just means it's really, really bad for you. 

My eyes are set on my 20% goal and I had a light bulb moment where I decided I would eat that lovely Dreamy 200+point Cookie once I hit that goal.  I felt satisfied.  But then what did I hear at my WW meeting today?  "Don't reward yourself with food".  Shit.

I get it. I really do.  But my cookie was my 20% goal prize and a nice dinner with creamy gnocchi and a bottle of wine was going to be my "AT GOAL" reward.  I may start rethinking my little awards because I do think it's important to learn that food is not the answer to everything. With food not being the answer, well, finding the right answer is not going to be easy.

What other rewards have you done?  Any ideas for me?   I'm already planning for my skinny wardrobe!!

Oh, my weigh in.  Did I trick you?  This is coming at the end but I actually did lose weight this week! YIPPEE.  My weight loss of 3.8lbs included a dinner at 5 Guys - and yes I had a burger and fries.  As well as an unexpected lunch at Red Robin  - no burger but I ate the fries.

4.4 lbs til my 20% loss.  Will I do it in 1 week? I doubt it but mark me down for a mini celebration on August 29th!

Mercury Is Screwing Us.

Did you know that Mercury is in retrograde?  Well, it is.  Do I know what that means?  I can only assume by the way this week is going that it means stars and moons and Milky Ways, and well, Mercury are all screwed up thus making this week a really crappy one.

I know its not just me - James is having an unbelievably bad week at work - and by people's Facebook statuses - this astrological stuff may be messing with our mojo.

Poor James' birthday is landing on a Thursday during hell week.  While I am very pro-birthday - celebrate and make yourself happy and make sure everyone else is making you happy.  James is much more laid back by the whole day.  But since he married me, he has to suffer both in planning my birthday but also putting up with my planning for his birthday.

Now I did throw a pretty nice party with a cool cake but that was a couple of weeks ago.  And I'm one that thinks that even if you celebrate your birthday on another day, having another celebration on your actual birthday is a must.  Which is why I'm feeling pretty crappy tonight.

Although Lillian drew some awesome rainbows and wrote "Happy Birthday Daddy" (I only told her which letters to use) and insisted that we buy this:

I talked her out of the Princess castle one.

And we made him these (remember everyone deserves a birthday cake on their birthday).

I frosted, she sprinkled.

But I just couldn't get over the guilt of not getting James an actual present.  I mean, what's a birthday when you don't have a present to unwrap?  It wasn't an issue of figuring out a gift.  That's actually the easy part but James has such expensive taste!  Those XBox games are pricey!

I kept telling myself that it was okay that he didn't get a gift gift.  The party was his gift, right?  But the birthday girl in me knew I had to get him something.  And so I got him something that I figured he could use when he walks in the door from work.  Of course, it's wrapped in pink princess paper!

Mommy Guilt Monday

I've mentioned before that Lillian has mastered the art of making me feel guilty as I leave for work in the morning.  It's the reason why I only stick my head into her room to check on her before I leave in the morning.  It's the reason why I blow dry my hair in the downstairs bathroom.  I love seeing my sweetness before my work day begins but the sadness in her voice doesn't exactly start my day off on a high note. 

Lillian is a smart ass girl however.  I think I heard her thought process tonight.  It went something like this,
I haven't been getting up early enough to punish Mommy for leaving me each day so I need to reconfigure my master plan.  AHA!  I will start the scrapping away of her soul in the evening!! Yes, that's brillant! Briillllannnnnntnttt!

And our conversation went something like this.  Please think of Lilly's voice as extremely cute yet with that heartbreaking sadness only a child can come up with:

Lilly:  Mommy why do you have to go to work tomorrow?
Me:  Mommy gets paid money to work.  Then we use that money to pay for things like food and ballet.
Lilly: But Mommy whhyyyy?
Me:  I'm sorry sweetie. I think of about you all day.
Lilly:  But Mommy, I won't be happy in the morning.
Me: Because I won't be here?
Lilly: Yea.

Heart. Stabbed. Ow.

Oh and once that conversation ended, she threw in a bonus clip, a bit later:

Lilly: Mommy I want to sleep in your bed.
Me: No
Lilly:  Mommy, I want to sleep with you.  I don't want to sleep by myself.
Me: No


Now, I think I may have to start hiding from her at night to avoid the Mommy Guilt.  If I slide a plate of food into the living room, switch on SpongeBob, and sit in the laundry room until she falls asleep, it may just work.


Oh, and it was Weekly Weigh In Day.  Can you guess by me burying it this far down in a post completely unrelated to weight loss means I gained?  Yup.  1.2lbs.  Boo. Hiss. I am so close to reaching my 10% lost (the first major goal for WW and if I reach that goal before the end of the session I get 1/2 my $ back from work) and I just took a small step back.  It's frustrating. Not exactly sure what I did wrong.  Sure I had a pulled pork sandwich  french fries and a little crab rangoon on Saturday night but I honestly thought I had enough "extra" points to be a-okay.  I guess not.  Onwards and upwards I suppose. 

This is not the first gain and I'm certain it won't be the last.  I am taking this though as motivation to re-focus which will be good for me.

In summary: Mommy Guilt + Weight Gain = Monday.  'nuff said.

Weigh In and Birthday Cake

I don't like going more than 1 week without a blog.  It's not so much an ego thing, me thinking that you are waiting and wondering when I will update. No.  It's more me trying to be disciplined and not fall out of the habit of keeping myself writing.  The longer I go, the harder it is to get back into the swing of things.

I've been wanting to share my Weekly Weigh In numbers but to also share a fun weekend.  This week's scale was kind, showing in bright red numbers that I was down another pound.  I even got a sticker for achieving another 5lbs lost - now for a total of 15.4lbs.

Again, I claim true love for the Weight Watchers program.  I love losing weight while still living and enjoying life.  This weekend I enjoyed said life by throwing James a little surprise party for his upcoming birthday. 

James is not the biggest fan of birthdays.  I don't believe it has much to do with the aging aspect as it is the whole pageantry surrounding it and by some previous let downs surrounding the big day.  But he married a chick who loves the birthday.  One of my life motto's is "Everyone deserves a birthday cake on their birthday".  A birthday is a special day after all and you should take the chance to celebrate the most important person in your life - YOU!  I have no problem taking the spotlight for that little chunk of time each year and bask in the glory of me cake. 

The party came together quickly.  Our good friends had made plans to visit that day so I took it upon myself to also invite a few more people.  Because of our little house and our backyard not being quite so visitor friendly yet, I had to limit who was invited.  That was the only bummer.

I love hosting parties - I just don't do it often because of the aforementioned tiny house.  It was nice to be in total control of the food.  A girl in the middle of a lifestyle change is often hampered by the lovely goodness of spinach dips and onions dips at parties.  This party I had a beautiful platter of fruit and sandwiches. 

There were two naughty things though. 

1. Ambrosia - nectar from the gods.  Well, maybe not as good as the immortal magic of ambrosia but sangria certainly tastes good, doesn't it?  It's my drink of choice lately.  To my happiness I've also discovered that 4oz of sangria is only 3 WW points.  Not too horrible.

2. Cake!  I told you, everyone deserves cake on their birthdays!  And since it was not actually James' birthday - he will get another cake on his actual day.  It just has to be done that way.

So what's better than cake on your birthday?  A FREAKING AWESOME CAKE on your birthday.

I told you, I have some talented, amazing friends.  One talented, amazing friend created this for James:

If you haven't guessed, James likes to fish. 

 Everything...EVERYTHING was edible!

If you are looking for a cake in the tradition of Ace of Cakes and live in the Chicago land area, I've got the girl for you! 

Oh before I forget, I also had a Culver's burger on Sunday for dinner....and french fries! Did I tell you that I lost a pound?