Mom vs Mom

I admit to be slightly annoyed at cutesy articles like Questions from SAHM.  It's one of those irrational splinters in the mind that are so deeply ingrained that you can't even pick it out with a tweezer.  It's like my hatred of mushrooms.  I just don't like it - no matter what you say or how you try to disguise it.

Because to me, articles like this just fuel the flame that is the always burning debate of Stay At Home Mom/Dad (SAHM) vs the Working Mom/Dad.  There is serious tensions that live on blog sites and message boards and I'm sure many neighborhood school drop offs between the two forms of parents.

Sadly, like in so many instances in a woman's life - it just feels like we are bringing each other down. 

Things like the list, even though likely only written in pure good intentions,   make my defensive rise.  I want to say , "Oh yea. Well I get to deal with office politics, rude customers, deadlines, long commutes, and meetings about meetings all day (with no hugs and kisses, by the way) and THEN I get to go home and deal with everything you mentioned on your list."  But I try not to say that on a message board or on Facebook because I think I end up looking like a big ol b-i-t-c-h.  

The thing is, I know that my annoyance is rooted in jealousy and guilt. I feel like I have to prove something and I hate that feeling.  I've lived 33 years caring too much about what others think of me and I think its prime time to maybe grow up a little.

I do what I have to do. My family does what it has to do.  We make it work, we survive. And isn't that what everyone is trying to do? 

Parenting is hard whether you stay at home and your day is filled with house work, cooking, and trying to entertain and educate your kidlets (most weekends I have a hard enough time accomplishing this let alone on a daily venture) or working outside the house and trying to juggle work and home life responsibilities.  It's just plain hard.

I hope no one takes this as a slam on SAHM/Ds - afterall James is one himself.  In fact, he can pretty much say "SHUT UP" to us all since he is both a full time stay-at-home Dad and a full time work outside of the home dad.  Now, he's got it hard.  Him? I will allow him to write a list.