Dating.

I have never been very good at dating.  I've never been much of a flirt and I was continually paranoid about having enough conversation to keep things flowing.  (Un)lucky for me, I really didn't do all that much dating in my life.  Somehow I managed to snag myself a man and almost 7 years later, remain married and most of the time quite happily.

I am at a new stage in life, one that is just as frightening - if not more so - as dating in your 20s.  Dating in  your 30s. But this dating is a whole new ball game.  I'm not looking for a man to kiss at the end of the night, I'm looking for another woman to sit back, drink wine and gossip with...I'm looking for a Friend Date.

Ever since high school, I am friends with many people but connect to a relatively small percent of them.  I've been excluded, I've been overlooked and most times, I'm sure, it's not even personal.  I'm just not the person you call to go grab a bit to eat with but I really want to be that person.

Now with those people I do connect with?  It's great but I'm lazy.  There, I said it, I can be a very lazy friend who doesn't reach out nearly as much as I should.  Shame on me.

Recently, however, I have been putting in the effort with someone new and from an unexpected place...Lillian's preschool.  Since James does all the drop off/pick up, I figured I would never get a chance to bond with the other Moms.  But one day, when I was there, a Mom approached me and said that her daughter always talked about Lillian.  We left saying that we should set up a play date at some point.

I decided to finally take some initiative and sent James to school with a note for the other Mom with my email address.  Since then we've emailed and text...we even set up a play date.

I picked out an outfit, put make up on, and tried to arrange it so I would arrive at the mall at the perfect time.  My mind raced with conversation topics from TV shows to holiday shopping.  My heart flip flopped hoping for a good date not filled with hesitation and awkward silences.

The date went well.  We had fun.  Plenty of conversation.  Our children alternated having temper tantrums.  Life is grand.

I am happy to report that our Mommy play date has since blossomed into a friendship with the two of us dining out on Saturday night.  This upcoming weekend? A movie!  The best part, the dear, sweet, loving James will be home with not only Lillian but her daughter as well.

I am proud of myself because I am making an effort to grow this new friendship.  If I haven't heard from her, I'll pick up the phone and text.  I initiated going out to a movie.  Now, I need to work on my already established relationships...which may even mean you.