Mommy Guilt Monday

I've mentioned before that Lillian has mastered the art of making me feel guilty as I leave for work in the morning.  It's the reason why I only stick my head into her room to check on her before I leave in the morning.  It's the reason why I blow dry my hair in the downstairs bathroom.  I love seeing my sweetness before my work day begins but the sadness in her voice doesn't exactly start my day off on a high note. 

Lillian is a smart ass girl however.  I think I heard her thought process tonight.  It went something like this,
I haven't been getting up early enough to punish Mommy for leaving me each day so I need to reconfigure my master plan.  AHA!  I will start the scrapping away of her soul in the evening!! Yes, that's brillant! Briillllannnnnntnttt!

And our conversation went something like this.  Please think of Lilly's voice as extremely cute yet with that heartbreaking sadness only a child can come up with:

Lilly:  Mommy why do you have to go to work tomorrow?
Me:  Mommy gets paid money to work.  Then we use that money to pay for things like food and ballet.
Lilly: But Mommy whhyyyy?
Me:  I'm sorry sweetie. I think of about you all day.
Lilly:  But Mommy, I won't be happy in the morning.
Me: Because I won't be here?
Lilly: Yea.

Heart. Stabbed. Ow.

Oh and once that conversation ended, she threw in a bonus clip, a bit later:

Lilly: Mommy I want to sleep in your bed.
Me: No
Lilly:  Mommy, I want to sleep with you.  I don't want to sleep by myself.
Me: No


Now, I think I may have to start hiding from her at night to avoid the Mommy Guilt.  If I slide a plate of food into the living room, switch on SpongeBob, and sit in the laundry room until she falls asleep, it may just work.


Oh, and it was Weekly Weigh In Day.  Can you guess by me burying it this far down in a post completely unrelated to weight loss means I gained?  Yup.  1.2lbs.  Boo. Hiss. I am so close to reaching my 10% lost (the first major goal for WW and if I reach that goal before the end of the session I get 1/2 my $ back from work) and I just took a small step back.  It's frustrating. Not exactly sure what I did wrong.  Sure I had a pulled pork sandwich  french fries and a little crab rangoon on Saturday night but I honestly thought I had enough "extra" points to be a-okay.  I guess not.  Onwards and upwards I suppose. 

This is not the first gain and I'm certain it won't be the last.  I am taking this though as motivation to re-focus which will be good for me.

In summary: Mommy Guilt + Weight Gain = Monday.  'nuff said.